Paul's writings

Below is a collection of writingS
from my friend, Paul Evans.

I hope you enjoy them as much as i do!

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” 

Ephesians 2:10, NKJV

Support his book on Amazon if you are interested in another short story:

I Come to You - December 4th, 2023

I come to you God I come to you today on this Sabbath day

Not to ask you for anything for myself Simply to thank You for all you've done For Your healing touch for those who have suffered so much in the last year or so

For giving them the strength in You to persevere even when it seemed the storm would never end

God I thank You for your timing in providing for needs as they arose Even when I was unable to see the way through

Again Lord I ask only that You provide comfort to those who struggle with this season that is supposed to be a celebration of Your birth, Your love and a celebration of family and community

Again Lord thank You for the people you've placed in my life so that they can teach me who You truly are.

Amen

I tried - October 28th, 2023

I tried to convince God that I was not worthy Which He already knew at the time of creation

He tried to convince me of His grace being sufficient and the bridge between my failures and His love

For decades the loud voices of not enough and you're sins are to much for God to look past echoed in my mind and heart

I still don't know what or when things changed

Was it the thousands of prayers

Was it that I finally opened His word

Was it that I surrendered to Him in the deepest part of my soul

I then tried to convince myself that I still didn't need full surrender

I could still pick and choose which sins were ok and which both mine and others were not

So when did I come to a realization that no sin is ok

Yet all sins are forgiven when we surrender to His will and leave our will and sins at the cross

After all He did die on the cross for us all He doesn't pick and choose who gets to heaven

It's our willingness to surrender Or our stubbornness to do it our way or the way of the world that makes or breaks whether we reach heavens gates

Will Saint Peter be there with our book of life to say "we counted your sins and you're just to much of a sinner to enter through these gated."

Or will Jesus be there to intervene and say " Let Him in for I know him as my brother. My father had adopted Him and he through grace is welcome."

I tried to live the life the world said would fulfill me

Oh how wrong I was

I tried to pick and choose which part of the Bible to follow and which was just to much.

I don't know if I'll ever fully understand the why I now seem to choose more and more what the Bible says

My heart and mind seem to be silenced by a still small voice that some how drowns out the noise the world makes

I Come to You - December 4th, 2023

Drop the armor

We armor up when we get pushed around and told it's no big deal To just get over it It's just how kids are

We armor up when loved one pass away and we can't seem to process the loss in a healthy way

We armor up when life throws spears and shoots us down when we try to fly

Yet to heal that armor must come off Piece by piece as we take the armor off we expose all the hard things we've been through

Drop the addiction that hid the pain of rejection Drop the grief we carried with pride Thinking that's how we kept the memories alive

Drop the shame for all the things we thought we should be punished for Although they were all just normal things we kids do when we are young

Drop the bravado that covered the insecurities brought on by just not fitting in

Show the scars and tell the stories So those who have gone through similar circumstances can know they aren't alone

Drop the armor piece by piece and allow relationships to grow and fill in the gaps or the scars left behind

piece by piece as the armor falls His presence will become more apparent and only then will we know He suffered so we may have peace

Jesus Called - December 2nd, 2023

Jesus calls us by our name He calls us by our kindness to others

Jesus called us to follow Him Not to sacrifice ourselves as He did Just to follow Him in His example of love above all else

Jesus called us to turn away from the world and turn towards Him

Jesus called us to be as little children in how we love others and ourselves For little children are so forgiving of things we forget are forgivable as adults

Jesus called us to love the sinner not the sin As He loves us inspite of the sins in our lives

Jesus called and I realized I wasn't answering His call I was looking to justify my own agenda in the world

Jesus called me to give up my independent heart and open His word to cleans me of the sins that hold me away from His presence

I've prayed for so much of the world to be mine Yet those prayers of course go unanswered Simply it's not His will that I have the things of the world

Jesus called and simply asked that I allow Him into my heart

And as I did so

My needs have drastically changed My pattern of thought has drastically changed

My "wants" have drastically changed from what can I take to what can I give

Jesus called and I finally understood the "Be in the world, not of the world."

Jesus called

Set up - November 25th, 2023

Satan sets us up to fail
Yet convinces us it's success
Fame or fortune is where we will find the peace we seek

Satan sets us up as we think happiness is out there somewhere far off

Yet as we go through this life searching for things to bring us peace

It only seems to drive us deeper into the pits of despair or addiction to quench a thirst for things that the world cannot give

God sets us up to find the peace within us His spirit is in all who will just pause to listen

Read His Word and pray for guidance Not for the things of this world

Just for guidance towards who to serve in His name

For service for any other reason falls through the cracks and isn't recognized by Him

Jesus allowed Himself to be our cleansing sacrifice at the cross

Not so we can have the riches of the world So we may learn to serve others as so many I see serve so well

I've chased the bright lights and the things of this world for oh so long

Only to end up in darkness and wanting to end it all

So now as I ponder where my life should go I ask the good Lord whom shall I serve who might has less than I

I don't have money
I don't have many thing to give
I do have a bit of time if someone were to need a shoulder to lean on
I have seen things in my life I hope no one else would ever see I've stared down evil and narrowly escaped its grasp I've seen the worst humanity has to offer
I've also seen the miracles of changed hearts and souls be saved

I myself have played the devils game
And as I said before narrowly missed his evil grasp

So now as I pray for guidance for my future days

I look to serve in Jesus's name

For all I've been through and seen has set me up for His purpose devine

I tried - October 28th, 2023

I tried to convince God that I was not worthy Which He already knew at the time of creation

He tried to convince me of His grace being sufficient and the bridge between my failures and His love

For decades the loud voices of not enough and you're sins are to much for God to look past echoed in my mind and heart

I still don't know what or when things changed

Was it the thousands of prayers

Was it that I finally opened His word

Was it that I surrendered to Him in the deepest part of my soul

I then tried to convince myself that I still didn't need full surrender

I could still pick and choose which sins were ok and which both mine and others were not

So when did I come to a realization that no sin is ok

Yet all sins are forgiven when we surrender to His will and leave our will and sins at the cross

After all He did die on the cross for us all He doesn't pick and choose who gets to heaven

It's our willingness to surrender Or our stubbornness to do it our way or the way of the world that makes or breaks whether we reach heavens gates

Will Saint Peter be there with our book of life to say "we counted your sins and you're just to much of a sinner to enter through these gated."

Or will Jesus be there to intervene and say " Let Him in for I know him as my brother. My father had adopted Him and he through grace is welcome."

I tried to live the life the world said would fulfill me

Oh how wrong I was

I tried to pick and choose which part of the Bible to follow and which was just to much.

I don't know if I'll ever fully understand the why I now seem to choose more and more what the Bible says

My heart and mind seem to be silenced by a still small voice that some how drowns out the noise the world makes

Bring it On - October 7th, 2023

I've weathered the storms and took the glory upon myself So God sent more storms to cleans my soul I set up residency in darkness thinking thats where I belonged With guilt and shame my constant companions

I shouted at God to end it all He looked at me and said no son. I have a plan for you
Your end is not in the darkness For there is no end to you My plan for you my son is beyond your current circumstances and understanding

So I ran as Jonah did towards the seas away from His calling

I now return in humility Saying oh Lord forgive me and bring me to your purpose
For obviously mine has failed

Bring it on oh Lord
Show me where I need to serve and I will serve and give You the glory

Bring on the death of my ego and allow me to repent and serve You

Lord please forgive my ignorance of your plan for me in this forsaken world

Bring it on so that I may serve in Your name and bring glory to Your name

I know the storms will still come for satan is enraged that I've found my way in Your name oh Lord

I come to the Light and pray that You will use me to fulfill Your purpose not my own
Oh Lord I serve You and only you from this day forward

No longer do I hold to my own understanding I hold to Your plan and weather the storms with You as my guide

Satan's Truth - September 24, 2023

Satan knows all the truths Jesus does He knows our weaknesses and sins the same as Jesus does

Satan mixes lies in with a healthy dose of truth so we struggle to desern what is the lie and what may be the truth His smoke and mirror tactics work quite well it seems

For when I seek instant gratification Satan is there to "help" feel good about my sin Where Jesus isn't there to tell us what we've done is ok

Jesus allows us to feel the guilt and shame for sins so we may be convicted to change Satan tells us oh grace and forgiveness abound so sin is ok We all as believers know what's right and wrong in life I am such a sinner I will not confess at this time

Just know I'm convicted to change so maybe I'll be less of a sinner than before So Satan will tell us truths to confuse us and hold us in our sin Yes he lies as well to convince us that what we've done is unforgivable and Jesus would never forgive such things

It's why we have the Bible So we can search and find the answers to our questions

There is no sin that God cannot wash us clean of If we but turn to Him with humble heart and quiet spirit Satan knows this as well He will work twice as hard to keep us in our sin and out of His Word

Satan knows God as intimately as anyone So He knows which games to play

Yet satan has no power when we kneel and pray and ask Him to guide us and provide us with a way out There is never anything that can't be moved through with Christ His promise is to never forsake us

It is our sin that keeps Him at bay For when we forsake our sin and turn to Him He welcomes us with open arms He doesn't sit upon a throne and judge us for all we've done against His name He welcomes us and washes us clean Each and every time I kneel to pray I feel Him there and sometimes even when I have no words to say He hears me and holds me as I pray

So today as I kneel and pray for others who may not know the Jesus that I know That they too may find peace in their hearts even through the trials of illness and struggles of this fallen world

I've Lacked Courage - September 8, 2023

I've lacked courage

I've lacked faith

I've lacked in character And do today as much as yesterday

Yet through my Father

I have the courage to accept my short

comings as opportunity to learn and become those things I lack

Build courage by facing things satan says God holds against me

Build faith by getting into His Word and honest and humble prayer

Build character by doing the right thing even and especially when no one is watching

I fall short

Yet am not judged harshly by my Father for the try

I Admire - October 12, 2023

I used to admire men that seemed to hold the world in the palm of their hands
I looked at the poor and addicted as less than this lesson certainly didn't come from my parents though

No idea where it might've come

I used to admire the men who could bed any woman they sought

Yet in talking to them there was no lasting satisfaction

in the numbers and no quality to it either

I admired the men who could stand in front of thousand and recite verse after verse from the Bible

Yet when they fell and they fell hard I was left with so many questions

Now I admire men that have dug their way out of the darkest of places Rising from the ashes of depression and addiction

Men who now put God 1st, family and country second

You see I've risen and fallen without God in my life And all I have to show for it is nothing at all

As I study His word both old testament and new

I find many stories of men to admire Many ran from God's instruction and tried to do things their own way

Moses wondered in the desert for 40 years before he came back to fulfill his purpose of setting the Israelites free

King David rose and fell

To rise again after committing murder and adultery

It's takes a humble man to rise from a fall God humbles many men before they rise to greater heights than most

Man how will it be when Jesus returns and we get to meet these men who were drunks, womanizers, murderers and thieves Before and during their greater moments serving God

I come out of the darkest of places myself Not bragging of my own volition

Just saying that I too have put my life in the hands of God, Jesus and the Holly spirit

I sure admire men who can come from the depths of their own hell and rise to meet God where God meets them and then follow Him in faith

Not because someone else has said so Because they've fully experienced the worst and know that the only way out is through Jesus and His light and grace

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